Do you ever wonder if everything you are working hard for is going to be worth the struggle? Whether mentally or physically? It’s always on my mind. It hurts me to my soul that some of the sacrifices I have to make. No, I’m not asking for pity. I’m just expressing myself. I’m sure that everyone thinks or have thought like this before. I wish I can travel through a time machine to see if the end result is pleasant. A lot of times when you concentrate so hard on one subject, you forget the essence. You forget the purpose, the effect you have on others around you. You lose yourself.
I’m still lost.
But I cannot be emotional about anything. Apparently it affects the quality of my work. I have constantly to be this stoic person, feel no joy, no pain. And it’s killing me, eating me away slowly on the inside. I feel so trapped. I wish I can just scream out loud. I wish I still had that special person to hold. I feel so vulnerable. Is the sacrifice worth it? I’m afraid to know.