There are times when you just want to give up everything because you can’t see the light any more. When everything that you are working towards suddenly just didn’t have the same meaning any more. You wonder why you did what you have done to get where you are, and why you are doing what you are doing now. Is it all worth it? You won’t know until you have reach the destination, or will you have the strength to fight to the end?
Lately I find these questions constantly visiting me. I wonder why I am on this side of the world, away from everything I know, everyone I love, just ALONE. Many people are in the same boat as me, but I tend to withdraw from people. I don’t believe in true friendship because of experiences and people that I’ve known throughout my life. I know from the get-go that I would be alone. I made the choice, and I have to live with the consequences. So many times I thought about just hop on a plane and go back home, and never come back. But I can’t do that. I have responsibilities, I have to be strong. I can’t let it get to me. Giving up is just not a part of my life.
There were times when I did give up my life, but I have found the light that guided me through all the ups and downs, the hurt and the pain. Now I need to keep that light bright. Even in my darkest hour, at my weakest point, most vulnerable moment, I need to remember that I have that light, and that’s all I need. If anyone else feel the pain that I feel, just remember, you have that light, and it will guide you through, no matter what.