My head’s been spinning in a circle lately. Seems like that I have to put on a front. Maybe things will get together soon for me. My head is so messed up. I almost need a “rewiring” to get my brain to function correctly again. It’s funny how I can always analyze myself well, but I won’t follow my own advice. I turn to shopping as a getaway. I need to concentrate on my project, and good thing to know that I still get excited thinking about able to work in the movie industry after graduating (hopefully). So I can say that I’m not completely insane.

Does that even make sense? Maybe it’s the devil trying to lead me astray, but sometimes I feel like I’m just living my life in vain. Is it even worth living? Why are we living for? Sometimes the same ol’ routine just doesn’t seem to advance anywhere. My soul is so tired, I don’t think I can fight any more. Yet part of me still determines to make it. It’s that tiny bit of light that wants to break free. But I ponder on whether I should let it out or just suppress it. I’m too tired, I don’t want to think any more. I’m not a quitter, but I…

There’s no other ways for me to express, so this serves as my outlet. I don’t know where to begin. Lately, I’ve been feeling depressed, lonely, sad. I constantly need to preoccupy myself with school work, even when there are none. Maybe it’s the country, maybe it’s the age, or maybe it’s everything combined. I don’t want to be one of those women that’s obsessed with her career and forget the meaning of life. Sometimes, I don’t even feeling like living any more. It’s like my teenage years of depression hits all over again.