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Control
You want to control all aspects in your life, right? It’s impossible. I tried try to control my life, from career, to education, to emotions. It doesn’t work. Sad thing is, it never works for emotions, and I knew it all along, but kept pretending that it is working. When you are so alone, there’s no way to get rid of that feeling. It just creeps up on you out of the blue. Well, maybe not out of the blue. But it’s been suppressed for so long, and yet you finally let loose of your “grip” on your emotions, and it has the tendency to just burst out. Then you…
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Strength
How do you stay strong when you feel so weak? Many times I cannot find the answer to that question. So many times I want to break down and just give up, but there’s something inside of me that won’t allow it. Sorrow have been drowning me for such a long time, makes me wonder how I ever survived for this long. I guess despite all the depression that I have been dealing with, a part of me still wants to experience the joy of life. A part of me still wants to break through to taste the sweetness that life has to offer. However, there’s a thin line, and…
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Isolation
In my last post I expressed my outlook on friendship, and here is where I will break it down further. Often times I get attached to people really easily. You can say that I am naïve. If someone is nice to me, and are constantly around me, I get attached to them. It’s a bad thing because most of the times, I just get hurt at the end. To avoid that, I develop a shield around myself: expect the worst, don’t depend on anyone for anything, and always only trust yourself. I’m just very skeptical when it comes to friendship, I don’t really know how to handle friendship. Throughout my…