Friend?

This has been on my mind for awhile now. I really start thinking hard about this topic since last night, while walking home.

Someone once said to me that “I am a very complicated person”, and wondered how I dealt with my sad emotions. We came to a conclusion that I don’t deal it with people, I write them on here. This is my outlet. Well, that person told me that this is very sad that I don’t have anyone to talk to. Once I thought about it, it is true what they said. I don’t have anyone.

I’m a very loyal person if you truly know me. I will hold you down and ride with you to the end. However, most of the times, I don’t get the same in return. When that person asked me, “do you have any friends”, it froze me. Friendship is such an overlooked word. People just call anyone their friends. Not me. I don’t know who’s my friend, I don’t know if I truly have a friend. Other than my family, there’s only one other person I can truly talk to. However, that person has also let me down many times, which broke my trust in people. Furthermore, the people I thought were my friends often let me down. I don’t believe in anyone or trust anyone, thus makes me a loner. Maybe it’s the way I played it out to be. Maybe it’s my destiny.