Wish Upon a Star…

Well, the year long intense Visual Effects program is finally over. After 3 months of sleepless nights and days, my final project is done. This is a time for celebration, but I can’t help but feel sad…

While I understand that certain things aren’t meant to be, it’s hard to keep your head up and a smile on your face. After being hanging solely by a thread for so long, you are bound to fall. I’m at that moment. I have no more strength to keep myself together, to keep my sanity, my pain and my passion. The only thing I can do is to let it go, slowly, so that hopefully, it won’t hurt so bad.

I’m in a paradox state of mind. Part of me wants this way and part of me wants it the other way. I’m so torn, I just want to run away to a place where no choice needs to be made. I wish things were much easier. No one tells you how much it hurts. Everyone just tell you that everything will be alright; stop thinking negative; this is just a phase, it will pass. I know. I give out similar advice to other people who are experiencing what I’ve experience. However, let me school you on something. Sometimes, everything won’t be alright, it won’t go away, and if it does, it may be a very long time before it really goes away. As far as for thinking negative, I don’t. I just prepare myself for the worst so that I won’t be disappointed. Yes, it’s bad, but it’s part of life. It’s how you cope with things. Expect the worst and if you get a pleasant outcome, then it will make your day.